15 Signs of Bad Parenting | Affects and How to Fix It - Tips On Parenting


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July 12, 2020

15 Signs of Bad Parenting | Affects and How to Fix It

Are you one of those parents who think they are doing it all wrong in raising a child? Well, no parents intentionally do anything that will make them look bad in the eyes of their kids. Bad parenting is unintentional and does exists. So, it's up to the parents to be self-conscious and realize the seeds and moments of bad parenting.

15 Signs of Bad Parenting | Affects and How to Fix It
Many parents confuse being tough on kids with bad parenting. Both of these are completely different subjects in parenting. Sometimes parents adopt certain parenting style which gives them the bad parenting tag which no parents want.

Children who aren’t raised in loving and affectionate family and have faced more tragic stories in their childhood compared to memorable happy moments, then they certainly are the victims of bad parenting. The must common affects that can be seen later on as the child grows as a result of bad parenting are lacking confidence, aggressive and anti-social behavior.

So, it's important for parents to learn what are some usual signs of bad parenting, how to overcome those, improve your parenting skills and focus on your parenting journey. In this article, we have listed 15 signs of bad parenting which if you are using up against your child, then its time to sit back and make some adjustments in your parenting techniques.

What Is Bad Parenting?

Probably one of the most challenging question to give a single answer to. If you ask your neighbors you will get one answer, if you ask your parents you will get another and if you ask yourself if you are a bad parent, then you will get a different answer.

Bad parenting isn’t defined by one action or moment but series of actions that parents that negatively impacts child's psychology and behavior. Its important to become active parents and realize the difference between good and bad parenting. If the parents don’t know what's good and what's bad, how can they teach their kid to differentiate between good and bad choices and decisions.

15 Signs of Bad Parenting

1. Reprimanding the child all the time

This is something we have faced when we were kids and after becoming parents. Kids make mistake and childhood is the time when they make mistakes and learn their lessons. As a parent, you should appreciate your child when they realize their mistake and are guilty and feel sorry about it.

Once you start scolding them every time, they tell you the mistake they have made recently, fear will enter in their mind and they will start hiding things from you. You should listen to what they have to say with a calm mind, teach them how mistakes can harm others and have consequences.

They will lose trust in you, share their thoughts with other than sharing it to you. For them, you will be the parents who won't understand their feeling and will always be scared to share not just their mistakes but their feelings as well. So, avoid this bad parenting signs if it is part of your parenting style.

2. Teaching discipline in front of everyone

Parents sometime forget where they are, who is around them and just transform into their disciplinary parenting mode when kids make mistake and start cursing and sometimes even hitting them. There is a difference when parents teach discipline in front of others and with kids alone. Even when kids get shouted at or cursed in front of other siblings, they feel humiliated as others are laughing.

Teaching discipline is important, but you have to wait for the right time and right place and use positive method of discipling the kids. If you want to teach your kids discipline and want them to be confident and successful, then you should be in discipline as well or else it will seriously impact your kid's confidence and self-esteem.

3. More advice, less encouragement

Only advice, no encouragement = Bad Parenting
Advice along with encouragement = Positive Parenting

Child's mind can be seriously affected when they hear advice from parents all the time but never gets encouraged. Parents the one every child looks up to and if you forget to encourage them and believe in them, they will lose hope and feel like loser.

A piece of advice is important in parenting to show kids the right direction in life whenever they are having a hard time and can’t differentiate right and wrong.

Advice: You should wake up early for good grades.
Advice & Encouragement: You already been giving your best at school, I will help you get up early in the morning, so you can focus and get better grades.

4. Not showing adequate affection

Along with health, social, safety & performance, your kid needs you as their emotional support and pillar as well. This is the most common problem in dads, as most dads always try and be the tough guy in the house and forget to remain emotionally connected to their kids.

Saying "I love you", hugging, kissing before bed, saying "you can do it, I believe in you" every once in a while, and more simple words like these can help you and your child feel emotionally connected.

5. Not being supportive when they need you the most

The level of comfort and strength that parents can provide to their kids, no one else can do so. We humans are social animals and our kids are no different and requires support from the day they are born to become successful in life.

One such situation is exam time. Throughout the year we put pressure on them to get better grades and when time comes to help them prepare for the exam, suddenly the workload gets doubled in the office and no one has time to sit down with the kids, motivate them are help them prepare better for the exam. Maybe it’s the drama they are performing in or the sports event they are part of, these are the moments when they need you the most physically or morally.

6. Comparing them with other kids

This is one of the worst habits of most parents I have come across. Parents don’t even hesitate to praise their neighbors' kid, coworkers' kid or even kids who appear on TV shows, but forget about their own kid and make them feel like a looser.

15 Signs of Bad Parenting | Affects and How to Fix It

Doing so, parents put mental pressure on kids to be better than kids next door. Rather than comparing, parents should give examples of people who have achieved great success in life with hard work and dedication.

7. Never proud of their achievements

Praising kids for their achievement and saying "I am proud of you" every once in a while, helps to build a better parent-child emotional bonding. Never expressing your joy or excitement when they share their achievements with you will again make them feel like losers. Achievements doesn’t only mean that they have to win a medal, prize or score good marks. Let's say they help a blind person cross the road and on the dinner table they shared this story with the family, but everyone is busy eating and not interested in listening what a kid has to say. How will it make them feel? Appreciating their efforts now and then can make them confident and more dedicated towards their goal.

8. Always criticizing

Healthy criticizing is good, it teaches them what is right and what's wrong. But, when you keep disapproving everything, never listening to what they have to say and always pointing fingers at them as if they are the reason everything is messed up, then you and your kid will have hard time getting along.

9. Not respecting their feeling

You may always be involved in teaching discipline, morals and good things to your kids but forget to understand the little soul's opinion and feelings. Kids are complex to understand and if parents keep ignoring their voices and feelings, things can get more complex to untangle.

10. Not showing the right direction

We adults sometimes get ourselves into situations that are out of control and don’t know what to do next. Kids are no different and are innocent ones who keeps getting into trouble. In the beginning, parents not only need to show them them right direction whenever they are confused or need guidance but also walk by their side, so they can get comfortable with the path they are about to step on. Words won't be helpful all the time, you sometimes need to step outside your comfort zone and help them with action.

11. Setting Bad Example

Kids growing up spends majority of their time with family and parents. They are always observing us and parents are the one they look up to. They pick all our behaviors and habits, whether good or bad. So, if a child starts cursing, try and figure out if they learnt it from you. Always be humble and calm around kids and handle even the worst situations with care. Never ne an example of bad parenting for your kids.

12. Kids are never offered a choice

15 Signs of Bad Parenting | Affects and How to Fix It

Whether it is food, buying clothes or planning a vacation, parents make all the decisions and don’t even offer kids to put their opinion forward. They are part of the family, so parents must be aware of their kid's preferences and choices, so they can have the best time together on shopping or on vacation. Always saying no to kids makes them rebellious.

13. Spoiling the kids

Its essential to shower kids with materialistic love and attention but not to an extent where they become a spoiled brat. If they get everything without having to put on any effort, they will never understand the value of anything. Such kids face social issues and isolation at the end as they will value satisfaction over emotions and morals.

14.  Being Overprotective

Being there for the kid is important but not all the time and especially not ahead of them. Let them fight their problems, find solutions, be on the side and motivate and not interfere. They will be overthinking about the risks before making any small or crucial decisions in life if they don’t learn to face their problems on their own with a little guidance in the childhood.

15. Getting physical to keep them in track

Some parents believe sometimes its ok and needed to hit their kids while for some it's like child abuse. I won't dive into which ones better. You shouldn’t use physical force all the time to intimidate them for their mistakes. With calm and cool minds everything can be fixed without having to lift a single finger. This will physically and mentally affect them to a point where they will never be able to share anything and keep things to themselves.

They will become bubble of emotions which they fear to burst in front of parents, thus releasing and popping it in the wrong place.

Impact of Bad Parenting on Children

Till now we learned about the signs of bad parenting. Bad parenting results in lasting negative impacts on children mentally and psychologically.

1. Lack of empathy towards others.
2. Development of depression and anxiety over time.
3. Aggressive/Criminal Behavior.
4. Difficulty in making long lasting friendship and relationships.
5. Psychological Disorder.
6. Anti-social behavior.

If you have identified yorself one of those parents who have the signs of bad parenting and want to work on it and fix this issue then read the articles listed below to transform from bad parenting to good parenting style and become the best parents that your kid will be proud and happy of.